Post by Benjamin Banks on Aug 17, 2016 9:17:46 GMT
Benjamin Henry Banks
PLAY BY:Niclas Gillis
♦ THE BASICS ♦
AGE: 19
GENDER: Male
ORIENTATION:bisexualHeterosexual
POSITION: College Student♦ THE FREEFORM ♦
Efficient - working in a well-organized and competent way
My favorite word in the dictionary is Efficient, or rather the first word I ever learned from the dictionary is efficient. The first time I heard it, I was five years old and I swear at the time it seemed like a bad thing. The way the words passed through my father's lips, he had a way of making the best of news seem like a failure. Just because something is Efficient, Effective, working, does not mean it is perfect. Telling someone their work is Efficient enough is not a compliment, it means that they've reached the standards you set. It means they've done what they expected you and at Five years old, I didn't just want to be predictable...I wanted more than I almost capable of understanding. The first word I learned in the dictionary was Efficient, and I knew that I never wanted to settle for just Competent.
Father -a man in relation to his natural child or children.
My father was something like an epiphany. He's the type of person that makes you put everything into perspective. He's the reason I am what I am. Even as a child I knew that the odds I would become like him were very likely. He taught me the basis of survival, it was best to conform to the higher power. A predator will not let any prey that falls into his path go. He taught me the basis of cutting things from yourself. I had already fitted
myself into his shoes, I hadn't noticed anything wrong with that until it was too late.
Perfection- the action or process of improving something until it is faultless or as faultless as possible.
The biggest burden in my life would always be perfection, The way perfect memory makes the space between your bed and your door seem endless. Perfect is an awfully big responsibility because there is no room for Efficient, Efficient leaves room for errors and you cannot be perfect with errors. You cannot be perfect with parts of you that may be wrong, so I erased them all. I was ten when I figured I wasn't like most kids, in fact little but learning brought me joy. The only way to perfection was to lose yourself in the facts, and I lost myself enough to be considered a genius. It was also the first time I seen the word Efficient in a good light. Perfection is a burden most times, in order to reach it you have to get rid of all your interesting parts...I'm sure I have none left. I guess perfection makes up for the gaps in my personality and the smiles that rarely grace my face.
Fake - make (an event) appear to happen.
I realized that I needed people skills. I realized speaking in a monotone voice was scaring the other kids and I pretended not to like that. It was the only time I ever remember feeling anything..and my memory is almost perfect. I learned to fake, to make my smirk seem more like a smile and to make pleanstaries a little more important. I faked interest in things other than myself. I realized that normal people had feelings and cared for more than one or two people. I also came to the conclusion that, feelings were the cause of imperfections. I faked interest in other people to watch them, no one wanted to deal with a person who resembled a robot. Even if being a robot was the only way I was going to perfect. I faked being Human, if you pretend long enough eventually you start to believe it. Except faith doesn't come easy to people ruled by facts. I never should've read the dictionary.
Insomnia - habitual sleeplessness; inability to sleep
I've determined that human beings have the tendency to make things harder for themselves than necessary. My best example is my inability to sleep, as if I hadn't already decided that i wouldn't play with other children, at twelve I decided that I wouldn't dream either. I say decided, because the only way to fix a problem is to admit you have one, and the only way to be perfect is to have no problems. Therefore, Insomnia had to be a choice...my choice. A consciousness decision to stay awake to learn more, dreamless, and perfecting every single detail of my life. I was able to hide it until I was fourteen, Sleeping wasn't all that important to me. Though some nights, Sleep is all I hope for, I learned to live without.
Graduation - the receiving or conferring of an academic degree or diploma.
I was finally done with highschool at age 15, graduating two years early because I knew the material perfectly and they felt I would be efficient enough in college. I can never escape those two words. It was a very boring experience, i thought that getting my diploma and not needing to wake up at 7 every morning would be more thrilling. I guess reaching my goals wouldn't give me any real pleasure (I already knew that).
Sister -ELLEN
I don't think I realized when it happened, I think I was fourteen. It was just us and there was a notebook, full of drawings. She saw, I saw, and we both said nothing. At the time I didn't think she understood the meaning of suppressed desires. When I went on to major in graphic design and Marketing, I don't think she was surprised. It was only in that moment that understood why she said nothing. If Ellen was a perfect as I thought she was, she was a freaking master of suppressed desires. Perfection is an awfully big responsibility because there is no room for Efficient, Efficient leaves room for errors and you cannot be perfect with errors. I was sure, like me, she erased them all.
Life the existence of an individual human being or animal.
im In my fourth year of college, two years until my masters and drawing comic books and writing under a false name, my life has never been so empty. Im sure my father is expecting me to join the company, I'm also sure my sister knows I published my comics and they were successful. it's never been easy to hide anything from her. It's also never been hard to live, but I seem to do that pretty well. I wished she let me in on her secret.♦ THE PLAYER ♦
USERNAME: Marie
AGE GROUP: 19
EXPERIENCE: How long have you been doing this?
WHERE DID YOU FIND US? Eli brought me here, I'm back guys
