Post by Benjamin Banks on Aug 19, 2016 19:04:58 GMT
Ben would bet his life, insomnia was only around to make him think he needed to work through his issues. He decided that being awake wasn't the problem, the problem was being sober on top of being awake. When he was sober he had time to reflect on how empty his young life was, and that's when he sought out his sister. There weren't many times when Ben was sober enough to drive the twenty minutes to his sister's apartment, when he did she was always able to remind him of who he was. He would never say it but Ellen was the only thing keeping him from the deep end, and he wished he was as good as Ellen at hiding problems.
It was almost a ritual, Ben would do what he always did and then run to Ellen's house. Ben wasn't sure she knew about his issues, the not eating, the lack of sleep, the peeling himself off his bathroom floor every morning. Still he liked to pretend that sneaking into Ellen's house was like having his sins dissolved. She'd look at him with that unapproving stare and he'd promise to get better, to give up whatever it was he was doing, and for awhile he would be okay. Until it started again like a vicious cycle...she was the only one that could really pull him back. Ben wasn't looking to be saved, he just needed someone to help him stay afloat and Ellen was his life jacket.
He turned the key in the lock and walked in. He didn't even wait for Ellen to come downstairs before kicking off his shoes and going into the fridge. He had forgotten to go food shopping again, the money was sitting in his bank account. He just..didn't have the drive or will to actually go shopping. He made himself a quick sandwhich and grabbed the apple juice, drinking from the jug. Any Moment now and Ellen would come charging in, commenting on how tired he was and looked. Ben was looking forward to it, he never understood why some churches stayed open late night...not until He started to sneak into Ellen's apartment last night.