Crawling on my back (Vesper)

[Ellen Banks]

Ellen sat back in what was rapidly becoming a familiar setting of the good doctor’s office with a resigned sigh as she crossed her legs one on top of the other. She might as well get comfy she wasn’t leaving any time soon….


She had no wish to be here whatsoever. Why would she? She had no issues to discuss, nothing she WISHED to talk about, her state of mind was in perfect shape thank you very much...but her soon to be “New “Step mother” (What was she up to now? Four step moms? And she was only like a year older than Ellen. What a joke) and in this new flavor of the mouth’s valuable opinion, Ellen needed these “Sessions”, of course, father didn’t agree, like Ellen he consisdered therapy for the weakwiled and those that needed constant validation from an outside force to feel good about themselves and naturally this sparked an arguement between the two of them.


The first of many if history was to repeat itself…


So, Ellen came, because it was better than having to deal with “Her” constant whining, but she made her feelings perfectly clear on the subject, by her refusal to play along with Doctor Bae’s questioning and refusing to let her get in Ellen’s head. Not that she could of course. Ellen rather hoped that she’d get the message and quit while she was ahead.


Clearly, she wasn’t getting the message…


Ellen silently began to reach until her purse, pass her bottle of pills and to a carton of cigarettes which she slowly pulled out, knowing full well that Doctor Bae. Told her repeatedly not to smoke during sessions…..


…..Rules were made to be broken

[Vesper Bae]

Vesper had been through multiple sessions with Ellen before. These sessions were, honestly, primarily quiet, slow, and evidently worthless. It seemed to irk Ellen just to be there every time she was. She continued to turn up regardless of her interactivity, because it was mandated. In the end, she didn't have much of a choice.

Her own eyes darted to the cigarettes Ellen procured; she might have suggested in the past that it wasn't the best time or place to give in to such a need, but it always spoke volumes over anything else given in past sessions. This time, she kept her mouth shut about it.

"What should we talk about today?" She asked instead, turning her attention completely to her face instead of her hands.

[Ellen Banks]

Ellen tried to hide her disappointment that her cigarette didn’t provoke any kind of a reaction from Doctor Bae, after all, that was the entire point, smoking wasn’t exactly her “Vice” of course oh don’t get wrong she did enjoy it, (Not as much as her….medicine...but that was hardly a vice) but she did whatever she could to try and get under the skin of the good doctor, it was instinctive to her to establish dominance in most of the relationships she had, that was almost coded in her genetics. That was how she was bred, so in a way she supposed a part of her was pleased that the doctor seemed passive -Was she ever not passive?-


But in another entirely different way, she was just annoyed she didn’t tell Ellen to leave and never come back right there and then.


But it was early days she supposed.


With the bud in her mouth Ellen regarded the doctor her head tilted and her eyebrowed raised as if to say “Seriously?” After a brief moment of awkward silence Ellen slowly removed the cigrette from her mouth and tossed her shining blond hair back “Well...we could start with how useless we BOTH know these sessions are, How they’re wasting both your valuable time and….more importantly, mine. Or maybe we can start discussing how much it’ll take for you tell my new allegend “Mother” that we reached a break through and we’ve done here, you’re a therapist at a day clinic, don’t act like you don’t need the money. If anything you should be talking to her not me….but then again I’m not the therapist here so what do I know?

[Vesper Bae]

Vesper listened of course. She was as adept at listening as she needed to be. It took no effort to pick apart the words given. They didn't shake her in the slightest because there was nothing to be shaken by.

She clasped her hands together in her lap, refusing the ability to write a thing down on the paper that she settled them on.

"Does money often suppress your problems?" She asked her instead, curiosity lining her tone.

[Ellen Banks]

She didn’t like this woman, not one bit. Why? Well, an entire laundry list of reasons why, but chief among them being the fact she always seemed so...calm, also so in control and collected no matter what Ellen threw at her, she was like a solid wall and Ellen’s word just kept on bouncing off her. No matter what Ellen said, Vesper just sat there, passive those eyes of hers just scanning Ellen like she was some kind of human x-ray machine.



It wasn’t exactly the most pleasant sensation in the world, being put under a microscope…



Ellen snorted in mild amusement at the question as if the answer was obvious “In this town? Of course it does” Already reaching into her purse and tumbing through dollar bills “Case in point…...two hundred….That sounds reasonable to check me out doesn’t it?”

[Vesper Bae]

The thought of money didn't seem to sway her. Vesper did smile. At least, the corner of her mouth pulled up a fraction. It was a laughable attempt, but that was all the humour she'd wear for it.

"It'd be a much faster process if you spoke about what troubles you." She explained, calmly and settled in the usual matter.

[Ellen Banks]

Ellen was half way through handing Bae two hundred dollar bills when her hand stopped at the face traces of amusment crossed the doctor’s face, was that the first time Ellen’s ever seen her even begin to show emotion? And it just had to be mild amusement didn’t it? Urg. Typical.

Well at the very least it disproves her theory that she wasn’t some kind of weird emotionless robot.

Ellen’s eyes lit up momentarily once Bae said that

“Oh really? Well I agree then, because I have nothing troubling me whatsoever. So I’ll just be going then”

[Vesper Bae]

The strain of a series of words was almost something to smile about too. Vesper didn't, but as she paused in seconds of silence she considered doing it.

She instead chose to ignore it and continue on, pointed as she could be.

"We could discuss your ill pointed aggression." Vesper suggested then, and she spoke as if the offer was completely open to interpretation, "After all, it's not me who forces these sessions. All you're really doing is shooting the messenger."

[Ellen Banks]

Ellen almost felt...there she say it...offended by Doctor Bae’s smile...was Ellen doing something funny?! Was Ellen here to amuse her? The only thing funny about any of this is the fact that Ellen was here in the first place. Really why WAS she here?! Because clearly nothing was being accomplished, in fact this was probably the most she has ever spoken to the doctor since she started these stupid things…



...Speaking of stupid….



“My new mother in law?” Ellen said with a snort putting as much scorn as she could in the phrase “New Mother” as she could “She’s just an idiot. She thinks if she can get me to open up we can “Connect” somehow” Ellen shook her head in disgust “Connect...that’s a joke, even if I wanted to, there’d be no point. She’ll be gone in about six months just like all the others that wanted me to call them “Mom”

[Vesper Bae]

There was something new. It didn't take a lot of information to know that Ellen had issues with the woman who suggested sessions in the first place. There were a great many things that contributed to that negativity, but they weren't for Vesper to bring up.

"You see no point in building any kind of relationship with someone you believe won't last in your life." Vesper denoted. Or rather, she did her best to create a point from what Ellen gave her. It sounded familiar enough. Rational, too. Almost impressive.

[Ellen Banks]

Ellen sat back a little not aware that she was now participating in the therapy process just simply answering the minor question posed to her, besides. She did like to use any kind of excuse to complain about her father’s latest squeeze. Ellen has never liked any of the woman that she has been made to call “Mom” -A horrible disgusting word as it was already-



But this one really took the cake.



Ellen pauses for a few seconds, as if the thought of confirming the doctor’s suspicious in anyway was a sign of her “Winning” or something along those lines but eventually she did nob in concurrence “They never last, not really I’ve had about four step mothers since my birth mother left, and ever single one always tries to “Bond” with me, bribing me with candy or sweet talking, trying to get me to call them “Mom” but I knew even when I was a kid, they didn’t want to “Bond” They just wanted my father’s money. That’s all.” Ellen leaned back sighing to herself and rolling her eyes “Each one gets more and more desperate and younger...”

[Vesper Bae]

Binding through bribery sounded normal for the Banks family. Vesper knew what most knew as well, and her sessions with Ellen rarely granted anymore information than she didn't already have. Even all this was somewhat assumed. She shrugged her shoulders, eyebrows lowering with a hint of confusion.

"You're all adults now." Vesper reasoned idly. It might have appeared like obvious knowledge, but it didn't seem to be in play, "That marriage will likely happen with or without your consent, won't it?" These things tended to matter less and less as the child involved grew significantly older.

But every family was different.

[Ellen Banks]

Oh well she was sorry if her sharing wasn’t interesting to her, this is why she didn’t enjoy sharing least of all in these kind of circumstances. She always felt like was constantly trying to justify herself at every possible turn



“A dry little smirk went on Ellen’s face once she was reminded that they were all adults “I really don’t care what brainless bimbo has gotten her claws in my father” She snarled just a little as if that should be obvious “My problem is these random skats talking down to me and trying to act like we’ve the best of friends when I refuse to play these happy family games”

[Vesper Bae]

Trying to isolate the issue Ellen was facing was never an easy challenge. There were always the obvious pressures, but pointing out that an odd spark of jealousy might have been in play could only infuriate an already fragile person.

Even Vesper had to admit that she was curious as to what Ellen's relationship was with her father. She heard so little about him when the girl did choose to speak, and that was likely on purpose.

"What does your father have to say about all this?"

[Ellen Banks]

Jealous? That word, had something of a negative connotation to it, Ellen thought that if she was to be jealous of the ladies her father elected to spend time with them instead of her, -which she would never admit to, even if it were true, which it really wasn’t- surely that would have been understandable….surely it would have been stupid if she didn’t feel anything like that right? The fact that Ellen would rather enjoy...some kind of acknowledgement from him in any way instead of him being distracted by the new slut of the week. Why did she constantly have to compete with all women…


..and why does she keep losing?


At the question, Ellen body instantly tightened up and her head stiffened the tension palpable on her face, clearly not enjoying the sudden change in topic “I never asked him, why would I? He clearly has his reasons and it’s not my place to question them” Ellen said in a quick tone of my voice, the words just tumbling out of her as if that was a line she had repeated and practiced that over and over again